Down but not yet out…

At least I don’t think so.

You had  rough couple of weeks?  Me too.

No doubt others out there have had it much tougher and certainly some much more tragic.  This is my world though, my pain and in this particular situation my blog so I’m gonna lay it out for you with my sad sack story.

I’ve been trying to post and write this thing for about that same amount of time, 2 weeks.  Some of it has been that I was physically unable to type, other times I just get lost in what I am actually trying to convey and then of course there was the barrier that the pain meds help create from forming a creative or coherent outlet.

Brain and body are pretty much shot as I come up on a week and a half into this thing.  Added to my injury was the event of my home being robbed a couple of days prior and the subsequent clearing out of my office, my computers, my backups and all else.  I guess you could say I was digging out of one hole when I rode my mountain bike full speed into another.

Hole, that is, rode my back right into the bottom of one and in the process tore up my right side, totaled my helmet in 3 different spots.  Cracked it all the way through.  Helmets get tossed and with enough triple antibiotic ointment all road rash heals.  The problem was that I jammed my thumb through my shifters like they were a meat grinder and I shattered my thumb.

I am post op 3 days and have screws, plates and pins in it and it does nothing but throbs like crazy.  I tried to go off my pain meds earlier but it didn’t go as planned, woke up 6 hours later in the worst pain of my adult life.  For my fellow FF/EMS personnel out there it was the only legitimate “I feel like it is at a 10″ today type of pain.

The irony is that it is such a small area, such a small body part.  It cannot possibly account for more than 1% of my overall body mass.  The thumb though is probably involved direct or indirectly in I’d say 1/2 the movements we make.  I know it is also true that it is involved in at least 1/2 the movements my dog’s body makes as she keeps bumping into it as well.

I’m out of work for 12 weeks, be turning myself over to the generosity and hopefully good graces of the modified duty gods.  Season is done, this time last week I was sitting atop my division in the series point standings and getting ready to tackle Leadville 100 MTB ride.

The take away?  You ask me two weeks ago if I could handle anything else and I would have said “no way”.  I am jammed up and I am doing the very best I can to keep my head above water as it is.  At times I felt myself sounding tired of saying the cliche’ “living the dream” or “doing my best to keep up”.  I was tired, burnt out and had no options.  No options other than the nuclear.  Luckily the man upstairs knew I was a  total punk and couldn’t handle real pain or suffering so he gave me the one thing I could tolerate and that would get the job done.

Now I’m sidelined and looking to reload and comeback stronger.



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